A brief background: I am 18 and was born without an esophagus and have had over 300 surgeries throughout my life, most of which were small like the one I had today, I currently have a surgery about every three months. After all of that, I have learned how to deal with doctors, although their questions still annoy me.
Why am I writing this? Well it started out, as most good blog post do, as a rant on how many times you have to answer the same stupid questions. But then, somewhere along the way, it changed. I realized that there might be some people out there (both young and old) that could be helped by my extensive medical experience. I try to focus on the little ones, because they are always the most scared. Since I go to a All Children’s Hospital in St. Petersburg, Florida, all I see are little guys, and it’s hard for them (and there parents) to deal with the medical problems they are facing.
So from now on I am going to try to make a blog post whenever I go to the hospital (and maybe even a few more than that), to tell people what I am facing, to help them deal with their problems.
So far today, I have been asked if the name bracelet is right 138 times (which is a slight exaggeration), I have been asked what I am allergic to, how I’m feeling, why I am wheezing, if I am cold, and tons of others. My answers ranged from, yes my name band is correct, I am allergic to latex and nothing else, I don’t know why I am wheezing but I am guessing it has to do with being here, and yeah I’m cold you’re making me walk around a freezing hospital in my boxers and a stupid gown.
Not only did I have to undergo an barrage of annoying questions but I was poked and prodded more than most inmates. I had my temperature checked, was weighed, ear checked, oxygen level was checked, nose and throat were also check, not to mention the few hundred times they listened to my lungs, and a few other things I know I left out.
Why do they do this? Well besides the hopeful obvious reason of “your health”, they do it because of a simple one word answer: lawyers! The reason I know this is because my dad is a lawyer and he (and every other lawyer) are on them anytime they mess up. So I guess the questions are okay.
Now onto the real problem at hand. These questions are one thing, but the worse thing is when nurses (who often times aren’t to much older than I am… and I go to a children’s hospital) try and be funny. I had a nurse today that had to be the craziest one I’ve ever encountered, and I’ve seen my fair share. Instead of going through the questions she had normally, she tried to liven it up a bit. And maybe the first few times weren’t so bad… but after the third or fourth time, I was ready to break. She would ask questions like, are you still breastfeeding or using a bottle, do you use a diaper or pull-ups, and do you have any pacifiers or special toys you would like to take back to the operating room. She asked these questions after asking my age and if I was attending UCF (because I was wearing my UCF hat), because her brother is currently a student at UCF.
On the bright side the guys with M.D.’s where much better. My anesthesiologists (whom I had never had before) took my advice because he knew I was a veteran. I had been having some slight breathing and wheezing problems this morning, some of which are normal. He was worried and wasn’t sure if we should proceed with the surgery. I suggested that he call Dr. Rice (to the little one’s she is known as Dr. Rice Krispy) because she has been my anesthesiologists a ton of times, and I knew she would know how I would react to things, possibly even better than I would. My mom got onto me at first because she thought I was saying that I liked Dr. Rice better (and I do, but not because he was bad, just because she is awesome) and was questioning his knowledge, but I wasn’t, and once she realized she was okay with it. The best part of this little event was that he went right over to the phone and called Dr. Rice, who agreed with me. We were then able to proceed.
This anesthesiologists was cool, as week walked back to the operating room, we chatted about sports and a few other things. As we entered the room I told him I take my anesthesia, like I take all my stiff drinks (only joking), sitting up. He said okay, when a nurse would have complained, trust me, they have done it before. Why do they fight patients more? Because they don’t want the doc’s to get mad at them, the doc’s don’t have to worry about that.
As I was going to sleep, through the mask, as I always do since the alternative is a needle. The doc and I talked about UCF, sports, and news. This is the way all conversations should be. We covered numerous topics and all within a minute, before the buzz set it and I passed out. They are always nice to you, they give you a warm blanket and make you feel as comfortable as possible. They try to make a Day’s Inn feel like a Ritz Carlton. They also give you “flavors” that you can put in the mask, like grape and strawberry, although I usually go for the plain or what they call the nasty gym shoe smell (not really as bad as it sounds). Actually going to sleep isn’t the bad part, I kinda like it, might even be the best part (I am going to lose my mind when they finally make me use a needle), second would the the hot nurses .
Now to the worse part, waking up. Ask anyone, I am not a morning person, and adding anesthesia only makes it worse. I can honestly say that I’ve (at 18 years of age) have never had a hangover, but I imagine it feel a whole lot like waking up too anesthesia. Luckily we recently stumbled onto a miracle medicine that they now give me, it totally cures the awful headache I normally get when waking up from an operation. Today I slept for two hours after the surgery (I think that doc was a little to over zealous with his distribution of the anesthesia), one hour in post-op and one in the holding area. Once I wake up and clear my head, I am pretty much ready to go.
That was my day (and a normal day for me) when I have surgery. I am (as I said) going to continue posting about my hospital experiences in hopes that it might help someone!
